How denial nearly killed the Kanyawire’s

By Leah Mwainyekule

Two years after James Kanyawire’s daughter died after falling sick in 1999, James decided to take an HIV test.  The results were positive, but he didn’t want to believe it.  He looked at himself in the mirror and thought that he was too healthy to be infected.  He didn’t even bother to tell his wife or take another test.  He didn’t even imagine that he could fall sick one day.  He didn’t even think that the virus could spread.  Yes, he was living in denial.

Denial was what nearly cost the lives of James and his beautiful wife Faggie.  They had another daughter who suffered the same fate as the first one, and they too fell sick at the same time.  They were too sick to even take care of each other, and slowly, they started realizing that living in denial will eventually kill them.  And it nearly did.

“We had reached a point that both of us were too sick to do anything, and so my relatives had to come and take me somewhere else, and my wife’s relatives also had to take her somewhere else,” remembers James

When the Kanyawire’s second child died in 2004, they decided to take a test and the result came out positive for both husband and wife.  This time James believed the results and knew that their status was the reason for their children’s premature deaths, but he was still hoping for a miracle.

“We were referred to the Thyolo Hospital so that we could start treatment, but didn’t go.  We still looked healthy by that time and I was just hoping that some kind of miracle might happen and the virus might just vanish,” he says.  But after falling sick badly to the extent of being taken care of by different relatives, the pair decided to change.

“I had actually reached the last stage of AIDS,” recalls James.  “I had wounds in my mouth and throat, my body was sour, my weight was down, you couldn’t look at my skin and I couldn’t even walk.  I was also coughing continuously.”  According to the couple, the wife was even worse than her husband.  “I developed skin cancer in my legs and my weight dropped to 28 kilograms,” says the wife, Faggie, who now enjoys her weight of 52 kilograms.  Her skin is also healed.

The worse thing is that upon knowing their HIV status, the couple used to quarrel a lot, with the wife accusing her husband of bringing the disease since he used to sleep elsewhere most of the time and get back home drunk the next morning.

The Community Partnership for Relief and Development (COPRED) organization, in Lilongwe, Malawi, helped save the Kanyawire’s.  When Faggie was being taken care of by her relatives, a volunteer visited her and convinced her to join a support group of people living with HIV.  She had also started taking ARVs and was receiving food supplements from COPRED.  Recovery was fast.

Upon sharing the good news from his wife, James returned to Blantyre where he and his wife were both in the same support group.  He also started the ARV treatment and found his body recovering pretty fast, and in one month.  However, life wasn’t easy for the Kanyawire’s.

“I had stopped working when I felt sick and we had even sold our house items to get money for treatment, so we were actually starting from scratch,” says James, who used to be a hotelier.  “We started depending on charity from religious institutions and COPRED itself.”

That was 2008.  Luckily for them, the pair was selected to go for a counseling training, and that was when James started working as a volunteer for the Chilomoni Health Centre, while his wife was stationed at the Soche health Centre.    In mid 2009, COPRED employed James as an HIV Counselor and Tester, a position he enjoys until now.

James speaks of his job so fondly, expressing how he loves it because he knows that those infected will get better, even though they are suffering, as he is a living example of that.  “It’s as if God was waiting for me to start suffering so that he could give me this job and help save others,” he says.

The couple is planning on having a child one day, and they’re just waiting for Faggie’s CD4 count to be strong enough so that they could start producing.  “We only want one child, and we know that we will always be with that child,” says James.

The Kanyawire’s are now born-again Christians who want to help other people help themselves.  They know that if they had kept on living in denial, they would have already been history by now.  They have only one advice for everybody out there: “Denying your HIV status is like signing your own death certificate.” Yes, James and Faggie definitely don’t have plans of signing theirs.

(Leah visited Malawi in December 2010 under a program implemented by Pact Malawi)

  

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The old man with a big smile

By Leah H. Mwainyekule

AS he stands in his shop serving customers, the old man looks happy.  A big smile on his face assures the buyers that they have come to the right place.  He sells commodities to them, jokes with them and laughs with them.  But behind his laughter, behind his smile, behind his jokes, is a sad story of being neglecting by his own children for being HIV positive.

Collington Mwakipesile realized he was HIV positive in 2004 when he decided to take a voluntary test after noticing that he had the symptoms.  When it was confirmed that he was actually positive, he decided to tell his older daughters but they didn’t like it.  And ever since, they are not really close to him.

“That year two of my children died of AIDS and I was taking care of them here at home.  After they passed away I realized that I also had some of the symptoms that they had, and I was falling sick more often.  I decided to take the test and it was confirmed that I was HIV positive,” he explains.  “But unfortunately when I told my other two daughters, I experienced stigma from them.”

Things with his wife were not better as well.  She got angry and refused to take the test.  During that time she got too much into drinking and used to get back home passed midnight or even the following day.  They used to fight a lot and all the children were on their mum’s side.

“One day we had a huge fight and my son decided to help him mother and fight me as well.  They were all over me and that was when I realized I had nothing left.  I decided to leave the house and stay on my own,” he remembers with sadness.  However, their relatives intervened and told him to go back home and that the children were old enough to rent their own place.  His wife decided to leave with the children.

“I got lonely, very lonely to the point that sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and start crying like a baby,” Collington says.  But not anymore.  The 67 year old has found peace in his group called Upendo where he is the Secretary General.  The group that has members who are people living with HIV in the Sinde ward in Mbeya Urban, implements under KIHUMBE through its Home Based Care program.

“The group has been my family and my whole life.  I have found peace because there are people here who love me and treat me as a human being,” he explains.  Through the group, he has also been able to borrow money that they contribute each week, and has managed to open a shop and a stall where he sells house products.  He also has one goat that was provided to him by the program, and he expects that it will produce many more goats in the future.

And Mr. Collington has not given up on his kids either: “I still love my daughters; and although they are not close to me, most of the time I try to contact them and visit them.  They are still my children and I will always be their father.”  And with this, he smiles again.  A big smile that assures everyone that Collington is now a happy man who is looking forward for a brighter future.

  

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HIV Positive? Not the End of the World

By Leah H. Mwainyekule

 

WHEN her husband passed away and left her four months pregnant, she had no idea that her life would become unbearable.  She had no idea that she would suffer and be rejected by her own relatives, and she had no idea that she was HIV positive.

Teresia Damian is HIV positive.  She doesn’t hide it and wants people to know about her status so that she could help her community change their behavior towards HIV positive people.  She also wants to help those who are positive like her, by encouraging them to know that it isn’t the end of the world for them.  Actually, she is a happy woman.

“I learned that I was HIV positive when I was sixth months pregnant with my last born and had to get tested at the antenatal clinic.  I later found out that my late husband’s relatives had known about what led to his death but did not tell me,” she recalls, adding: “Actually when I learned of my test results I felt devastated, but then I picked myself up and decided to be strong.”

But Teresia’s journey to happiness was not that easy.  Her husband’s relatives kicked her out of the house with nothing but a small bag of her clothes.  She had to move from Korogwe district to Tanga City in Tanga region, north of Tanzania and start a new life with her three year old daughter, living in her aunt’s home while she finds a job.  She gave birth to a healthy baby boy and vowed to protect him from contracting the virus.

“I decided to stop breastfeeding him when he was two months old.  I didn’t want him to contract the virus.  My husband’s relatives had promised to help me buy baby milk, but they didn’t live up to their word.  I suffered.  I would go and beg for money from other people, buy some little milk and mix it with lots of water so that the baby wouldn’t go hungry.  I knew it wasn’t nutritious, but I didn’t have a choice,” she explains.

“I asked a certain man to teach me how to be a tailor, and I would help him sew some clothes and get 300 shillings that I would buy half a kilo of sugar with, and ask good Samaritans for vegetables so that my children and I could get at least one meal per day.  Sometimes I didn’t eat and had to cook porridge and put salt in it because I couldn’t afford to buy sugar.  At least it helped my kids not to cry of hunger and wake up the angry neighbor,” she says.

In her pursuit for a better life, Teresia was lucky to be visited by someone she had never met before who introduced her to a savings and credit group.  Through that group called Shalom Women, she learnt many things including saving money, food production and tailoring.  She started by renting a sewing machine before she managed to have her own.

Teresia has already taken three loans of 50,000 shillings each, as well as a bonus of 160,000 shillings from the group’s first round of profits.  And you couldn’t imagine the first thing Teresia bought after receiving the loan.

“A mattress.  I bought myself and my two babies a mattress,” she says, laughing.  “The last time I slept on a mattress was in 2007 after I was kicked out of my house.  All of these years we have been sleeping on a mat – a borrowed one, actually – and our bodies had already grown used to that.  So I just had to buy a mattress,” she laughs.  The second thing that she did was have a carpenter make her a bed.  After that she opened herself a bank account and started saving even more money.

The ever-smiling Teresia is so thankful to the group for saving her and her children’s lives.  Right now she can afford to feed them, shelter them, buy them clothes and take them to school.  Her daughter is eight years old and in standard two, while her son is five years old and in nursery.  And what’s more, the child is HIV negative.

“Healthwise I am also doing fine, and I thank God that I have never really fallen sick.  I use medication as required and I am sure that I am absolutely not even close to death.  Everybody knows about my status, I do not hide it, and I teach them how to live positively.  Those who stigmatize others, I teach them that they shouldn’t do that,” she says.

From being a beggar to a brave young woman, Teresia is one hell of a lady who understands the importance of protecting your child at all cost.  She has suffered, has been ridiculed, has starved, and has been abandoned; but she never lost hope.  She knew that being a mother meant protecting your children, and thanks to the savings group, she is probably the happiest woman in Kange area.  Being HIV positive is definitely not the end of the world.

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What shanga means

By Leah H. Mwainyekule

SHANGA.  When you say this word in the Tanzanian community, heads turn, eyebrows are lifted, giggles are heard, and even laughter erupts.  Yes; beads, known in Kiswahili as shanga are a very important ingredient when it comes to sexual relationships.  They can make a relationship healthy, or break it to pieces.  They can cause trouble, or be a source of reconciliation.  They can bring up competition, or even make peace.  But to one charismatic lady, they are much more than that…to her, shanga means money.

Amina Dilolo Salehe is a simple lady.  She is fifty five years old, divorced, takes care of her grandson, and makes a living through designing and selling beads.  The beads that she makes are specifically the ones worn at the waist by women, and are believed to help spice up the relationship between the two sexes.  She is well known for her talent and has a lot of customers, but she doesn’t forget where she came from.

“Just two years ago my life was completely different.  I lived a kind of life where I wasn’t sure how my tomorrow would be.  I depended on working in other people’s farms where I could gain only 2,000 shillings per month.  It was terrible because my husband and I split twelve years ago, so I really had to work hard in order to be able to survive,” she narrates.  That was when the Worth program was introduced in Mkambarani, Morogoro region in Eastern Tanzania.

“I used to make beads, but nobody knew about me back then because it was something that I did just for fun.  When I joined the Worth group called Mshikamano, I started saving money and then took a 20,000 shilling loan,” explains Amina.

With that loan, Amina was able to purchase more beads so that she could design them fit for the ladies’ waists.  But she had to think of something that would really make the ladies crave for her beads only, and not go for the other nearest dealer.

“And that’s when I decided to come up with designs that are completely different, with sexy names.”  Names of her designs include segere, mwanamke nyonga, mugongo mugongo, utalijua jiji, msumari and ua waridi.

According to Amina, segere is a design that complements the famous dance played by the Zaramo tribe, and mwanamke nyonga is a kind of design that symbolizes the beauty of women using their waists to bring happiness.  Ua waridi is a kind of design with the shape of rose petals, and utalijua jiji is a design with beads depicted as traffic lights.  Another design, mugongo mugongo depicts the spinal cord as well as a famous dance beat where one uses their back to dance to the tunes of music, while the design called msumari has beads piercing out like tiny nails, and she shows them off while singing the famous taarab song “msumari huo unachoma; wapi moyoni, machoni? Kotekote! ” Yes, a really charismatic lady.

“Life difficulties force you to learn something different,” says Amina when explaining about how she came up with those names and designs.  “This has made me get a lot of customers lately, and right now my business has expanded to Zanzibar and Dar es Salaam, where people place orders and comepick them,” she says.  Nowadays she could make up to 15,000 shillings a day by just selling her designer beads.

But she doesn’t hesitate to pour praise to the Worth program: “I don’t know where I would have been right now, or what I would have looked like.  All I know is that right know my troubles are over. I don’t have to worry about eating anymore or working in other people’s farms.  I’m done with that now, thanks to the Worth group that taught me how to save money, and get a loan that has made me who I am today.”

And her desire is not only to make money, but also to make others happy.  “Girls here compete with each other on how many strings of beads one is wearing.  I once counted the strings on a certain girl’s waist, and they were actually fifty!” she says laughing.  But the good thing is that they make relationships stronger, and her pocket fatter.  And Worth has a lot to do with that success.

Amina is now happy, thanks to the famous designer beads that have made her a household name in the Mkambarani ward.  She is also happy that other people are happy with her designs.  The Worth group, she says, is her savior and the reason for heads turning, eyebrows lifting and laughter erupting.  Shanga is the word she loves to hear.

  

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The puppet show as a life changer

By Leah Mwainyekule

THE pregnant wife has gone to the antenatal clinic for checkup.  The husband is home and furious that his wife has taken so long there.   He is waiting for her return so that he could show her who the real man is.  And yes, as she comes back he sends her packing, accusing her of infidelity.  What he doesn’t know is that he has been totally unfair to his wife.  But there is only one way to know… the puppet show!

The puppet show is a performing arts tool being used by youths in Kipili ward in Nkasi district, Rukwa region in the Southern Highlands of Tanzania, to campaign for the gender oriented sexual and reproductive health and rights promotion.  And these youths even have an artistic name – Sound Beach Boys.

The Sound Beach Boys of Kipili are the favorite artists of Kipili.  They perform their duties under the coordination of the Mwambao Development Movement (MWADEMO), who are partners of the Resource Oriented Development Initiative (RODI) in implementing the TMEP project.  It is funded by the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU).  

The Tanzania Men as Equal Partners (TMEP) is a project that aims to partner with Tanzanian men for gender oriented sexual and reproductive health and rights promotion.  The Sound Beach Boys (SBB) implement this project through performing arts, whereby they use puppets to send the message and even sing rap songs that campaign for the program.

Bazilio Kapunda is MWADEMO’s Executive Director,  he says that the artists have managed to do public awareness using puppets after attending a two week training in Sumbawanga, and the shows they do have managed to attract a lot of people because it is something new seeing puppets do the talking.  But what is most important is that the message reaches the community.

In the puppet show called “what you don’t know…” Mama Sadiki is being accused by her husband of going to meet other men and coming back home late, claiming that she took long at the antenatal clinic.  The husband sn’t want to listen.  He first beats up his pregnant wife and tells her to leave his house.  Unfortunately, some neighbors who are his friends agree with his decision, saying that women now have so many excuses to meet their boyfriends behind their husbands’ backs.  Luckily, one passer ­­­­by hears the men talking proudly, then he advises them not to misjudge their wives.  He tells them that husbands have the responsibility of escorting their wives to the antenatal clinic, and that way couples who go there are given first priority than those who do not.  Baba Sadiki understands, and promises to take his wife back and be with her whenever he is required.

“When we perform shows like this, you see a lot of people listening to us attentively and laughing at the humor.  But what is most, they get the message and have their questions answered after the show,” says Desderius Msafiri, who plays Mama Sadiki’s voice.

Lazaro Godfrey Kayumba is a rapper of the SBB and William Medad Kamangu is a dancer.  “We use all these methods to attract people.  People love entertainment, people love a little bit of laughter, and so if you use performing arts to send your message to the community you will definitely get good results,” they explain.

The boys say that their aim is to do as much shows as possible so that they could create awareness on reproductive and sexual health issues, and they believe that by working hard on their performances, the community will really appreciate the education that they are getting.

The Southern Beach Boys might be a group of only seven young men, but it is a group with a difference.  It is a group that performs to bring positive change in the community, and all this is done through puppets.  Through such kind of entertainment and humor, you could definitely expect the best.

  

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HIV positive and happy

By Leah Mwainyekule

 

A group of women is on tour to the maternity ward of a hospital in town.  They are in a jovial mood with their gifts to the new mothers, and are happy to see new lives brought into the world.  As they want to leave, they also have a gift waiting for them – an offer to take a voluntary HIV test.  Their leader is the first to volunteer.  As she comes out of the room, she has a smile on her face.  A smile of hope, a smile of faith and a smile of courage.

Salome Patson Mbonani is HIV positive.

“When the nurses at the Igawilo hospital offered us to take a voluntary test back then in March 2000, I was the first one to volunteer because I really wanted to know my status.  I was in a polygamous marriage of four wives and my husband was already very sick.  I just had to take the test.  And when it was confirmed that I was HIV positive, I was not sad.  I knew that I needed to be strong for everyone so that I could survive,” she explains.

Salome was the chairperson of the ruling party’s women’s wing in Itezi ward, Mbeya Urban in the Southern Highlands of Tanzania, and she and other ten women who were councilors had visited the hospital as part of their charity work.  Two refused to get tested.  When Salome reached home she treated her husband nicely and later told her about the hospital visit.

“He was shocked because he already knew that he was HIV positive since he had already tested secretly, so he thought that maybe I would get angry or even leave him.  But when he saw my reaction, he too had hope,” she narrates.  After that they went to the hospital together, and she took care of him until he passed away.

Two of his four wives also passed away since they refused to get tested.  “They actually used to laugh and insult me, saying that I was the one with the virus.  In the end they got so sick and it was revealed to them that they were HIV positive during their final days.  The first wife and I are the ones on ARVs and we are all fine,” she says.

Salome is now a happy woman taking care of herself.  Her realization of the virus and the education that she has received has made her now a peer educator at KIHUMBE, through its Prevention program that is funded by the American people through the Walter Reed Department of Defense (DoD).

Through her job as a peer educator, Salome is so keen to make sure that everyone knows about the HIV virus and how to protect themselves from being infected.  And one of the things she insists on, is for people to stop believing in cultures and norms that could get them easily infected, just like her.

“My husband’s brother passed away from what we suspected to be HIV, and my husband inherited the wife.  She was the fourth wife.  All of us were so angry with him and we asked if he wanted to kill all of us, because we were sure that the new wife might have been infected as well, but our husband ended up beating us and telling us to shut up,” she explains.  “If it were not for that cultural practice, maybe we would have not been infected.”

Salome actually nearly faced the same fate after her husband passed away and his relatives wanted to remarry her.  “I told them that I would kill them with the virus that I had.  They didn’t want to listen so I ran away and went to live with my mother.  I am now happy there with my three children,” she says.

Salome is very thankful for her children who are taking good care of her.  They are 28, 26 and 22 years old, and have been very good examples by also taking a voluntary test and protecting themselves after testing negative.  And she always promises them that she has no plans of dying early.  She is happy with her life, and she is happy that she could help others as well.

 

 

Affording a roof over your head

By Leah Mwainyekule

IN the cold hills of Lushoto, the weather is chilly.  Leaves are falling down from trees and the wind is blowing fiercely.  Everyone is behind a jacket or a cloth wrapped around their shoulders.  They are all concerned about the weather.  But for one woman, that is not really important right now.  What is important is that she is now protected with a roof on top of her house.

One year ago, Yones Tito was the most concerned one about the weather in Lushoto district, Tanga region in northern Tanzania.  Her house did not have a roof.  It was covered with banana leaves and not really protective during the winter season.  When it rained, it was worse.

“The rain dripped inside the house because the leaves were already not too useful.  I cook inside, so the smoke from the fire caused the leaves to be penetrative when it rained and when it was too cold like now.  All of us suffered, including my children,” she explains.

Yones had four children.  She used to have eight children but four of them passed away from unknown illnesses.  Her husband passed away in 1993 and left her in the same house that was roofed with banana leaves.  All of her remaining children were studying at that time and she was the one responsible to take care of them.

“I started walking into the forest in search for firewood,” she recalls.  “I would walk the whole day and get enough firewood that I would take to the market and sell.  It was the only way to survive.”

But Yones did not do this work alone.  Her children also had to assist her.  One of them is Abraham.  He was ten years old back then, but his age did not really matter.  He would also go into the forest and collect firewood.  At that small age, Abraham also worked as a laborer in other people’s farms so that he could help his mother pay for his own school fees.

“I remember that there were times when I couldn’t attend classes because I had to work.  There was no meaning going to school everyday and suffering from punishments because of not paying school fees or not having the necessary things such as exercise books.  So I learned to work,” says Abraham.

The situation caused the boy and his older brother not to be able to study beyond primary level.  They were both selected to join secondary school, but could not because of lack of school fees.

In November 2010, Yones was one of the founding members of the Mkombozi Worth group, a group aimed at bringing together caretakers of Most Vulnerable Children (MVC) who meet weekly and learn how to save money and take loans that would help them take better care of their children.

After having enough savings from her weekly contributions, Yones took a loan of 30,000 Shillings.  She used the money to buy herself a roof for her house.  So part of the house got covered with iron sheets.  She took another loan of 60,000 Shillings and divided it into two parts: with 30,000 Shillings she bought another set of iron sheets and covered the remaining part of her house, and with the remaining 30,000 she paid for her last born’s school fees – the only one in the family to go to secondary school.

“The girl is in form one right now, so at least this time I was able to pay for her school fees and make sure she had exercise books and everything that is needed,” says Yones, laughing.

But the now proud lady did not end there.  Later in 2012 she took a 50,000 Shillings loan and added some of her own money from her firewood business and bought a calf.  Her aim is for it to grow into a cow that would produce milk that she would sell and also for her family to drink.

Right now Yones is happy.  She jokes a lot that Worth has enabled her to be a human being now, and be able to have three meals a day compared to the one meal a day that her family used to have.  “I now eat meat, eggs, and I will soon be having milk as well.  I want to be healthy.  In fact, I want to be bigger,” she laughs.

The laughter of Yones is a sweet, sincere one.  Her jokes are also touching.  From the traumas of life that she and her children have gone through, she can now sing along to the tunes of Worth and convince others to join in as well.  Having a roof over her head is something she is proud of.  Oh yes, the chilling Lushoto is not a problem anymore.